Why the Duggars Give Christianity a Bad Name

One girl's response to the Duggar's scandal--when Christian leaders try to hush up sin all it does is hurt the vulnerable.

Disclaimer: I don’t care how much you love the “19 Kids and Counting” show, I’m just going to speak my mind right now. I understand that I do not know all of the facts about the situation, but I do know the facts that the Duggars have themselves said and that is where this is coming from. Not only speculation.

In case you hadn’t heard, Josh Duggar has admitted to molesting 5 girls starting when he was 14, some of which were his own sisters.

Before I really get into this, I wanted to let you know that I’m working on an assumption of the best case scenario here. I’m assuming that everyone got counseling, Josh was healed from the obvious brokenness that sexual abuse comes from, and they are truly healed right now. Everything I say from here on out is going to be coming from that mindset.

Ok let’s go.

Here’s the part that really really got me: it started in 2002.

That means that the Duggars knew about this before they started their show. Before they put their children in the limelight, making them public figures that had to constantly wear a happy face. They knew that their daughters, victims of sexual abuse, would have to become spokespersons for the faith of the family that hushed up their pain–even if they were on a great road to recovery, that’s still horrible.

Personally (EVEN IN THE BEST CASE SCENARIO), I think the Duggar parents are responsible for psychological harm for their children, and I’ll tell you why.

They covered it up.

Yes, they reported it initially (but it took OVER A FLIPPING YEAR from when the dad knew), and got the girls and Josh into counseling (AFTER A FLIPPING YEAR). But that’s not enough. Then they went to TLC and got on a TV show that required them to hush-hush about “the incidents” and pretend they were a perfect Christian family who had never done anything wrong.

Well I’m sorry, you did something wrong. Covering it up makes it worse.

They put Josh’s needs above the girls’

In my opinion, they did this in 2 ways:

1. He continued to live in the family

I’m sorry. If a boy molested my daughters, even if he was my son, he would be gone. The right thing to do is to separate him from the girls–send him to live with his grandparents or to work out in the country away from them so that they can have time to heal. As soon as he does that, it’s not about what makes him feel happy and safe anymore–he’s not the victim, he’s the perpetrator.

They did eventually send him to a program, apparently, but Jim Bob Duggar did not report the abuse FOR A FLIPPING YEAR AFTER HE HEARD ABOUT IT, which means that these girls were living with their abuser for a YEAR before they got therapy and he was removed. I’m sorry, but in my mind that is inhumane.

2. They forced the family to go on TV and put their happy faces on, pretending that they were part of the ideal Christian family.

Not only did they not report it for a year, but then after the initial shock of it all wore of they went on TV. And not only that, they went on as the perfect Christian family while they held this secret behind closed doors. To me, that behaviour says that they had forgiven Josh and wanted to pretend it had never happened. But pretending it never happened helps Josh, not the girls. Pretending it never happened minimizes the pain and suffering and confusion that they must have felt.

They tried to save face, not do what was right

I honestly thought that the Duggars were a slightly sheltered but seemingly perfect family (although I really disagree with a lot of what they portray as Christianity). But hearing this, I cannot say that anymore. Saving face is never the answer–honesty is the only way to lead to healing. Saving face helps the parents stay away from having to answer tough questions, but tells the girls that their suffering is insignificant compared to their parents’ pride.

They put those girls in the limelight in extremely psychologically damaging ways

Honestly, if they had gone on TV for a show about gardening, I wouldn’t be this mad. Gardening has nothing to do with sexual abuse or anything about sex or relationships at all. It’s about flowers and vegetables–completely safe topics.

But they didn’t. What they did was become the spokesperson for modesty and purity, knowing all the while that the daughters they are making speak about this are living with sexual abuse in their past, unable to speak out. Even though I 100% believe that these girls are NO less pure for having this horrific thing done to them, I can’t imaging having to speak about purity and modesty every day or your life and being known as the chaste Christian Duggar girls while having that in your past. Can you even imagine how psychologically damaging that would be? I can’t. I really can’t. My heart breaks for these girls. So not only were they speaking about sex all the time, but they were also praising Josh for his purity. Ugh. I shudder just thinking about what they had to go through.

If they had been forthright about the abuse in their past and then spoke about purity, it could have been quite powerful. But instead the covered it up, and now they’ve done more damage than I think they know not only to their family, but also to the cause of Christ.

They are speaking too much about the silver lining

Yes, they’ve had 12 years to deal with it and they probably are on a road to recovery. We, however, as the public, just heard about it. The proper thing to do as a Christian spokesperson is to admit that it was horrific and say sorry and leave it there. Not point out all the great things that came from it! For heaven’s sake, the Duggars even tried to point out the good that came from this by stating that “this entire incident had brought the family closer to God”

WHAT? That is one of the worst things you could say to a public who does not believe in God!

Dear Duggar parents: hushing it up doesn’t make it OK, and saying that the abuse brought people to God doesn’t make it OK either. Click to tweet this quote! Tweet: Dear Duggar parents: hushing it up doesn't make it OK, and saying that abuse brings people to God doesn't make it OK. http://ctt.ec/4Dbid+

I’m just saying, this is not about the abuse. I don’t think the Duggars are a bad family because their son abused his sisters and other girls. I think that if we say that they aren’t a good Christian family because of that, then we are in the wrong. We all sin, some worse than others, but it does happen.

What I think makes them a horrible spokesperson for the Christian faith is how they handled it. Not the fact that one member molested girls, but in how they dealt with it.

I actually have so much compassion for Josh. I can’t imagine what he’s going through, and I do not think that Josh Duggar should be facing any sort of persecution or slander because of this, so please don’t talk about him badly. Sexual abuse comes from such a broken place, and I do truly believe that he probably feels more angry and confused about all of this than any of us ever could. I’m mad at the parents for how they handled it, because it didn’t help the girls or Josh, and that is their primary responsibility as parents.

So those are my thoughts. Josh and the Duggar girls: I am so sorry this happened to you.

Josh, I’m sorry that you got to such a place that when you were a teenager you did this and it will follow you around for the rest of your life. I”m so sorry you have to live with that, and know that God has forgiven you 100%, because his grace truly is enough. But know that you cannot hide from your past–that does not give glory to Jesus. Facing your past and proclaiming God’s forgiveness over you is what brings him praise.

Girls, I hope you’re OK. I really hope that you have received good counseling and feel like you have truly moved past (not gotten over, but moved past) this. I’m so sorry this is all being dragged up again, and I hope that this does not adversely effect you in any way. Know that you have people who are willing to stand up for you, and that your suffering at the time was warranted, and that being asked to cover it up was wrong. I hope that you all find someone who can truly take care of you, not just themselves.

I truly hope that the family does not fall apart because of this, but I hope it’s a wake up call to something greater. It isn’t often that you see a family with this much opportunity to spread God’s message, and I really hope that they start proclaiming the truth about God’s love rather than trying to save face at the expense of others.

Check out Rebecca's blog Life As a Dare! Great read!

My Non-Typical Relationship

Only 60 days until Rebecca gets married! Her relationship isn't typical, though--here's some reasons why that was for the best!

Today is officially 60 days away from Connor and my wedding day!

It’s crazy to think that we were once at a time when it was 10 months away, or when we didn’t even know if we’d be getting married.

Our relationship is not, and has never been, “typical.” But I think that’s what has made it so great.

We didn’t like each other in the beginning.

Not in the whole “I thought he was annoying” way. Actually, I was attracted to him when I first saw him, but he was in a relationship so I quickly turned that off. We were friends for a whole semester before we started going out, time that I think is one of the main reasons our relationship is so stable and so strong.

Because we were honestly just friends without any expectations or emotional stuff bogging us down, we got to really know each other. I remember there were times where we’d just have “truth time,” where we could ask each other anything that we wanted and you had to answer truthfully. We got to learn some pretty intense stuff about each other two months before I would even realize that I liked him. I really had never had a friend like him before. More than just that, we are able to be so silly with each other because that’s what we were before we started going out! I’ve never been so much myself with anyone in my entire life than with him.

Reasons why typical relationships might not actually be the best!

From what I’ve seen, most relationships start because two people were attracted to each other. Not us–I mean, both of us became extremely attracted to each other once he was single, but until then there was nothing. And because I was able to keep a respectful distance from him while he was in a relationship and make sure that I didn’t get emotionally involved, he actually trusted me 100x more when we actually did start dating, since he knew that I would be faithful–and I knew the same about him.

I didn’t wait for him to make the first move.

Reasons why typical relationships are not always the best!

Because we had such a strong friendship already that had been 100% platonic, when he was single and I realized that I liked him I skipped the whole awkwardly-waiting-to-see-if-he-might-like-me stage and just started full-out hitting on him (which was not nearly as subtle as that sounded, to use what Connor says about it). I knew him well enough to know that this would work, and that it would be good.

Now, this is a tricky one. Because I do think that the guy should do the asking out. I don’t think that it’s wrong for the girl to start the conversation, though. The man is supposed to be the head of the house, and although that doesn’t mean that the woman is second, I think that the woman asking the man out takes away a bit of his masculinity.

That being said, I don’t think it’s a bad idea for the girl to say “Listen, I like you, I think you like me too, and if you want me you’re going to have to do something about it.” And that’s pretty much what I was saying with my behaviour. But the point is, I didn’t leave him in the dark. He knew that I was at least interested, especially since my behaviour was such a stark contrast to when we were just friends only weeks earlier.

When we started dating, he wasn’t stronger than me spiritually.

Connor had only been a Christian for about 10 months when we started going out. No, he wasn’t a spiritual leader for me yet in every way. I’d say we were more equals. I don’t want to make it sound like I was more spiritual than him–that’s not it. It’s just that I had more knowledge and more experience at that time. However, I respected his faith and saw the journey he was on, and I knew that it was leading to something wonderful–which he’s proven. From day 1, he was able to keep me accountable and we had great conversations, but it was a few months before he truly began to lead me, and honestly he’s shown me so many times how strong he is in his faith.

What I’m trying to say here, though, is that you don’t need someone who knows more than you do. You don’t need someone you can trail behind completely wide-eyed, in awe of his wonderful spiritual strength. You need someone who will keep you accountable, who won’t let you get away with crap, and who will challenge you to grow rather than let you stagnate in your walk.

I grew up in the church–I started competitively memorizing the Bible when I was 12. Connor is never going to know more scripture than I do, but what he has that I really don’t is a fresh perspective. The truth is, I struggle with seeing past the words on the page, but Connor really doesn’t. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to power an issue through on my own only to have Connor take me aside me to sit down and pray about it. So although at the beginning I feel that we were more on the same level, he’s definitely the leader now.

Girls, though, are told that we need a man to lead us. And although yes, I think that is best, I think that too often girls go for the guy who they think is perfect–but why do we put that kind of pressure on men? Why don’t we look at the journey the person is on? I know lots of guys with “great” faiths but who aren’t producing any fruit. It’s not about how much you know–it’s about what you do with what you know! The knowledge will follow if your heart is in the right place.

Reasons why my non-typical relationship was for the best!

Anyway that’s just a few of my musings today, 60 days from our wedding. What about you? If you’re in a relationship or are married, did your relationship unfold more traditionally? Or was it really out of left field, but somehow worked anyway?

I love hearing your stories. So tell them!

Check out Rebecca's blog Life As a Dare! Great read!

Photo credits go to Emma Sangalli Photography

How to Make Great Gifts for Bridesmaids on a Budget!

Here are some great ideas for bridesmaids or just birthday presents in general! All natural products and super cute and fun! Like a spa-in-a-box!

   HEY: IF YOU ARE A BRIDESMAID OF MINE, PLEASE DON’T READ THIS. Everyone else: you’re good. :)

So as many of you know, I’m getting married in July, which is crazy and soon and exciting and aaaaah!! I’ve got 5 bridesmaids who are helping me so much in staying sane and keeping me organized and motivated to keep planning even though details are SO not my thing, and I’d much rather just show up on the day and hope that everything had sorted itself out on my own. They’re such amazing friends and family, and they are such a huge part of this amazing experience.

So, to thank them for everything they’ve done, my mom and I got together this weekend and made some gift baskets to give them at the wedding to say thank you for all of their work! And, of course, I thought I’d share with you all what we did! These baskets aren’t exclusively for bridesmaids, of course–they’d be perfect for any birthday/Christmas/just because gift!

The first thing we did was obviously take all of our craft things we had in the entire house and throw them all over the kitchen.

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After the kitchen was suitably shameful, we got started!

I wanted to do something fun and girly, and my mom used to pretty much own her own at-home-Lush store, so we made a spa-in-a-box for each of my bridesmaids and then some smaller ones for the girls who will be helping us get ready in the morning!

We started with making some bath fizzies with Cocoa butter (We kind of improvised our recipe since my mom’s pretty great at these, but this is the closest one I could find!), and poured the mixture into these super cute little trays so we had turtles, shells, hearts, starfish, you name it! I think we easily made over 20 in less than 10 minutes!

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Look how cute they are!

Then we made some brown sugar body scrub which was absolutely delicious. All it took was brown sugar, melted cocoa butter, almond oil, and some essential oils! We also added some vanilla to make it smell like happiness. :)

Unfortunately then we decided to add it to these really pretty clear glasses we had and realized that it looked… less than lovely in the shape that it took.

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Thanks for being my bridesmaid! Have a jar full of… oh…

So we put them in completely opaque jars with pretty labels and that was that.

Of course, when my mom and I got started, we got lots more ideas as we went along, and made a few things for Connor and me to take on our honeymoon! (I have such a cool mom.) I took a few of the bath fizzies and some of the sugar scrubs, and we also made some massage oils. Spa-worthy massage oils are crazy easy to make–maybe I’ll write a post on relaxation recipes sometime soon.

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About halfway through, my mom and I realized that we were missing about half of the ingredients for the other things we wanted to make, since we really just jumped into this with no preemptive planning. We had to run out to bulk barn, the dollar store, and Home Hardware (to get mason jars) for the rest, and picked up some really cute stuff for the girls there, too! It finished off the baskets very nicely!

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Of course, in this picture they’re not finished yet. We still had to wrap them all up in really cute labels that we made :)

In the end, here’s the box!

How to make some great gifts for your girlfriends!

I’m really happy with how they turned out!

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So here’s a quick list of what we included:

1. Start with some pretty baskets

Even though these baskets are super cheap, and you can find really cute ones even at a dollar store, they make the whole gift look super classy! Plus, they’re a really great way to organize and store the items that you’re giving them if you keep them in a theme!

2. Add Something Fun in your Bridesmaids Gifts!

We found these great reusable face-masks as well as exfoliating microfiber facial wipes that can be just thrown in the wash and reused! Such a great alternative to disposable cotton swabs! We also saw the super colourful loofahs and just fell in love. But all of these items were still definitely under budget!

3. Make Something they can Treat Themselves With!

These girls are your best friends! They make you feel like a million bucks every day! So why not give them something to help them pamper themselves? :) We made brown sugar body scrubs, sea salt foot scrubs*, lip balms, and bath fizzies. I also added some home-made lavender soap that I made with mom last year since it was such a pretty purple colour and smells amazing! These things are so much fun, it’s like having a spa at home, and they are so quick and easy to make! I’m so sorry I don’t really have recipes for these things–I’ll have to do it again soon with my mom and post what we actually did!

Some reasons these bridesmaids gifts are great:

  1. They help the girls relax
  2. They contain reusable, sustainable products
  3. All items are made from organic materials, so all of these fun spa things are completely harmful-chemical free!
  4. They’re super fun to put together and make
  5. They make you smell amazing. Seriously. My mom and I worked all day on these and we smell like cocoa butter and lavender.

To be honest, I’m so not a gift person. That’s why I love these–there’s something in it for everyone, and it’s easy and fun to make, not stressful like walking through the mall for hours seeing the price tags pile up. What kinds of things would you have added?

Check out Rebecca's blog Life As a Dare! Great read! * didn’t add castile soap

Why Students Leave the Church

This blogger has great insight on why Christian students leave the church when they go off to school, and even gives some helpful tips for the church to help this stop! Great read!

What I always hated hearing about in church was how many people fall away from God as soon as they enter university.

As youth, you hear it all the time–“6/10 teens leave their faith when they enter university, and it could happen to you!” We’re warned all the time to make sure we don’t fall away, and I think that’s important.

I’ve just finished my third year of university now, second year living on my own. I personally have not found it difficult to stay true to my faith, but I really think that’s due to some pretty simple things my parents and friends did for me before I left and while I was growing up. In church, though, we have all these adults telling us we’re doomed, but no one offers a hand to help!

I’m a firm believer of the fact that your actions speak louder than your words. In my opinion, churches can say whatever they want, but unless they actually act on those words, they mean nothing. So when I see all of these youth leaders saying they want to stop Christian young adults from leaving the faith but then do nothing about it, I become skeptical. It seems to me like the leaders see my age group as a pointless cause, and that it’s inevitable that we will leave.

But I don’t think that’s true. See, I have some theories as to why kids leave the church.

Students leave the faith because life is scary.

It’s scary being on your own. Everything is so new, so foreign, and there’s no one there to help you. You’re on your own, and  the first few weeks of school are honestly some of the most lonely weeks I’ve ever experienced. For most kids, the only way they get to know people is through frosh week, and that’s not exactly the most Christian of activities. But it’s there, and when you’re in a new city, with new people, starting your brand new life, you’re lost, and go for what’s easy, because easy is less stressful and goodness knows you don’t need more stress at this time.

Students leave the faith because they did not have a firm foundation.

A lot of kids just don’t have that firm of a foundation in their faith, and college can really shake even the most secure believers. Especially kids who don’t come from very strong families, or aren’t close with their parents. If you don’t have that secure attachment to God, then it’s easy to be pulled away by everything around you.

Students leave the faith because they just weren’t ready for the adult world.

I just don’t think a lot of kids are ready on any level to leave. They aren’t prepared–I’m surprised by how many people come to school not knowing how to do laundry. When you’re not prepared, everything is so much more stressful. These kids are already dealing with increased school work, harder topics, and important decisions for their future–the last thing we want to worry about is how to use a vacuum cleaner, or how to create a budget. When you get stressed, it’s easier to break. Your resolve really begins to crumble, and it’s harder to say no as a result. You begin to become burnt out, and after the craziness of the week the last thing you want to do is sit through another lecture at church.

I know there are tons of reasons why kids leave the church, but I really think that those are three major contributing factors. At least, from watching others and experiencing doubts myself. And I can’t help but look and say “Churches! If you care so much, why not address some problems?”

There are so many simple things that churches and youth groups can do that I honestly think would help. Not necessarily fix–I don’t mean that. But there are some really easy fixes to some problems that we’re just not addressing as a church community.

1. Teach kids how to be adults

What if we offered classes for kids in grade 12 on how to live on your own? How to work the washing machines at a laundromat, how to make a budget, how to organize your bills–just the basics of living on your own! That on its own could alleviate so much stress–I wish that someone had sat down and just made me a budget or showed me how much money I truly have to spend on coffee and movies and the like. Teach kids how to write resumes, how to find help, what to do when you lose your wallet/phone/keys/etc, because it will happen. How to cook is a huge one. Why are our teens leaving home without knowing these things?

2. Connect our kids with Christian community

Why don’t youth pastors just e-mail each of their graduating students a link to each of the Christian campus groups at the university they’re going to? I have met so many Christian kids who just didn’t know that IVCF existed on our campus, and didn’t start coming out until their 2nd year! If youth pastors, parents, and friends would just connect kids before they even left, we’d see kids engaging in Christian community a lot more than we do now.

3. Teach real Bible material and stop the fluffy teen stuff

Teens are only going to be teens for about 5 years, then we become adults. So why do we always hear stories about the same youth-related issues in grade 9 and in grade 12? There’s something wrong with the system when 13 year old kids and 18 year old kids are being given the same message, and both are expected to relate. Get grade 12s involved in actual small groups instead of preaching at them or making them go to huge group discussions–youth group is meant to train teens to become leaders in the church community, so let’s start training them how to study God’s word individually while they still have some supervision! Maybe then they would begin to understand what they believe and why they believe it instead of just sitting through another youth group sermon.

Some of these may seem a little harsh, but after moving out on my own I realized how many things the church could do for their young adults. It really isn’t that difficult–it’s quite logical actually. Kids start as children, go to children’s ministry. Then they go to youth group, which is a gradual shift because we do different activities from grades 1 to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, and so on. The logical thing would be to then slowly shift from grade 9 activities to grade 10 to grade 11 to grade 12–but we’re not seeing that. And I think that’s where the problem lies

We need to stop sending out children to fight a man’s battle–we need to equip Christian teens to become adults on practical, emotional, and spiritual levels. Click to tweet this quote!

What has your experience been with the church through school? Was it good? Bad? Let me know in the comments.

Rebecca

Lies People Tell You about Non-Christian Colleges

3 Lies you've heard about going to non-Christian school!

So is it just me, or are Christian colleges really pushed in the church community?

It’s like people assume that as soon as you leave the little Christian bubble you’ve been raised in, you’re going to jump straight into a life of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Which I think is stupid, actually. I mean, if all the adults in the church think that we have no backbone and can’t stand up for ourselves, why don’t they try to do something about it instead of just tell us about the impending doom that lies ahead as soon as we graduate?

But anyway, there are three major warnings that I think we all get as Christian teens against secular university that I would like to just shoot down right here and now.

WARNING #1: Your professors will all brainwash you so you no longer know what you believe!

Ok, first off, if you can’t decide what you believe on your own, you need to sort that out. Personally, I’ve had tons of profs I don’t agree with. I’m in psychology, we have a lot of wacky stuff going on. I’ve actually had a prof say during a lecture that anyone who doesn’t think that homosexual marriage should be allowed and encouraged can go f*** themselves. What we as a Christian culture need to learn, I believe, is that other people’s opinions don’t undermine ours. Your neighbour is allowed to believe whatever he wants, and my professor is allowed to believe whatever she wants. But that doesn’t have to make a difference about what you or I believe. That’s why it’s an opinion.

So the truth is this: yes, you will hear opinions differing from your own. Yes, they will often be against Christian principles. But is that really so bad? Is it so awful to have to listen to someone who doesn’t agree with you about everything?

I mean, isn’t real life going to be like that? Isn’t the real world full of people we don’t agree with, and who are going to believe that what we have faith in doesn’t exist? Of course we are! I just don’t think the answer is to run away–I think the answer is to be prepared and then deal with it properly when faced by it.

WARNING #2: You’ll quickly fall into the partying scene because everyone’s doing it and there’s no escaping it at the evil, secular school!

Let me just say this: people respect your beliefs.

I came from a background of homeschooling, from a relatively sheltered life, into a secular university where I quickly made quite a few non-Christian friends in my classes. So I had no experience turning down parties or any of that kind of temptation. But I didn’t really have any issues with it even in my first year here. I mean, I was invited out to a ton of stuff, but when you explain “Oh, sorry, I’m a Christian, so I don’t really drink or party”, people generally respect that. I’ve gotten teased a bit obviously, but I don’t force my beliefs on anyone and they show the same courtesy towards me. It’s not like you’re going to be dragged kicking and screaming to a party, or that people are going to pour shots down your throat or hold you upside-down for a keg stand. There really are other options, and, unless you hang out with jerks, people aren’t going to make your life miserable if you choose not to get drunk or go to parties.

I don’t think that we, as Christians, give the rest of the world enough credit. A lot of my very good friends I made in my first semester were pretty hard-core when it came to partying, but they were really cool about the fact that I had a strong faith and they respected me for that. I just think we should stop condemning people before we give them a chance to prove themselves.

WARNING #3: You’ll never meet any Christians!

This one is the biggest lie of all.

Ok, let me give you two scenarios. First, there’s a group of about 3,000 kids who are all at a baseball summer camp. You really want to meet some people who are extremely good at baseball, and want to get a real team together, but everyone plays, so how do you figure out who actually is gifted at the sport and who is just there for the ride?

Scenario number 2: You’re at a camp for sports of any kind. There happens to be a group for baseball, but there’s also one for basketball, soccer, swimming, lacrosse (do you guys play that in the states?), etc. Now you’re trying to make a baseball team. In which scenario is it going to be easier to find people who are on the same level?

On the one where they have the choice to do something else! This is how I see secular university. If you get involved in a Christian fellowship group on campus, you’re automatically meeting kids who are completely invested in the Word of God. Here’s a truth that I’ve watched over and over again: just because you go to Bible school doesn’t mean you’re invested in the Bible. It’s a lot easier to be a Christian when everyone is than when you feel like you’re a minority.

At my school, we have a group of over 100 people who get together every other week for large events and Bible studies every week. It’s pretty intense study, there’s great accountability, and it’s a fantastic way to meet other kids. I’ve met some of the closest friends I’ve ever had through this group, including my fiancé, and a lot of it is because we are very self-selected as Christians who want to not only stay Christian, but to grow and to deepen in our faith together.

So if your goal is to really find good Christian friends, you can completely achieve that at a secular university.

So there are my three answers to those arguments I’ve heard from either spokespersons from Bible colleges all over the States and Canada as well as people who I’ve talked to about which school to go to when I graduated.

What school did you go to? Secular or Christian? What was your experience?

Rebecca Gregoire