Is marriage what it’s all about?

Anyway, a very common trend I see going around is writing letters to your future husband. Some girls post them on their blogs (or, at least parts of them) and to be honest, they’re really sweet.Basically they write them and save them until they get married, upon which they will present these letters to their husbands saying “Look, I was thinking about you all along.” It’s an adorable idea. :)

But I see so much of this infatuation girls have with weddings everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married as much as any girl. It’s going to be really fun finding that guy and getting to know him better than starting a life with him.

But I really think that Christian girls can become way too obsessed.

Wedding Cake ca. 2003

In the the church, every single girl is told that God has a guy out there for her. I personally do not think that belief is Biblical. (now hear me out…) In 1st Corinthians 7 Paul points out multiple times that women can be called to be single! He actually says that if a woman remains single she is able to be 100% devoted to God instead of being torn between God and her husband. As Christian teen girls, we’re told to be excited to get married, which I completely agree with. I think marriage is wonderful, and I really hope to get married some day (honestly, which girl doesn’t?) But the problem happens when we aren’t prepared if God calls us to be single.

I disagree strongly how much girls are taught in the church to think about marriage and weddings and all of that. Purity is important. Modesty is important. Both are not stressed enough, I believe. But when they are stressed we are told that it is because we want to save ourselves for our husbands. Although I agree with this statement, there is so much more to it than that. But we, as Christian girls, are taught to put everything in terms of marriage and our husbands.

We don’t flirt because we don’t want to give any of ourselves away to another guy other than our husband

We don’t wear immodest clothing because we’re saving ourselves for our husband

We stay pure so we can give everything to our husband

I have heard so many modesty/purity talks that I really can’t count them. And I have never heard one that didn’t focus on our future husbands.

The reason I try not to wear immodest clothes is that it distracts brothers in Christ and is a selfish thing to do. The reason I’m gonna stay pure is that God says so, and really I don’t think we need any other reason than that. (Of course, saving yourself for your husband is extremely important, but we shouldn’t only follow God because there’s something in it for us at the end)

The real reason this all bothers me is that our focus is not on God anymore–it’s about what God can give us.

I firmly believe that God has a guy out there for a lot of girls. I hope he has one for me. And guys, I’m sure he has a great girl out there for you, too.

But the point is this: if he didn’t, would you still give your life to him? Or do we focus more on what God can give us rather than God himself?

Guys, I’m sorry this was really a post directed towards the girl readers. But what do you follow God for? Is it because he has something to offer? Or because he is God?