Life as a Dare

Making Every Moment Count

When You Feel Useless In the Church

A while back I wrote a post about what it’s like to be a Christian, ENTJ female and it got a lot of conversation going on the topic. One of the most common comments that I got from other ENTJs in particular was “church doesn’t help me. It does nothing, and I don’t feel accepted or like I’m growing. So I stopped going to church.” And it broke my heart.

I’ve written extensively in the past about why you need to go to church as a student, why students leave the church, and about how the church can help with various issues we face. But those don’t really address the issue of what to do when your church doesn’t help you.

I’ve explained this in my last two posts in this series, but I’ll say it here again. Generally, we go to church because God commands us to as well as for three reasons that benefit us directly. Obviously individuals will have extra reasons apart from these, but I think these are pretty global so these are the ones I’m going to mainly address. They are (1) to receive good teaching that helps us grow, (2) to become part of a community, and (3) to feel like we’re actually making some sort of a difference. Often when we get disillusioned about church it’s about one of these three things. The preaching isn’t great, I feel isolated, or I feel like I’m not able to do anything with my faith at the church that I’m at. And the last one is what we’re talking about today.  [Read more…]

I’m on YouTube!

So I did something big this last week. I started a YouTube channel!

I wasn’t going to make a whole post about it, but I wanted to let you know a bit about what’s been going on in my life, since there’s a real reason I decided to start the channel now.

Rebecca Lindenbach of Life as a Dare is on YouTube! Check it out here!

Warning: I’m going to get a bit personal here.

I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching recently. See, I was a college blogger all year last year, and college has been my life since I was 16 years old. I’m looking to do 7 more years of school to get my Ph.D. I really really love learning.

But something about the university environment didn’t work with me very well, if I’m honest. I suffered with anxiety pretty heavily throughout my final two years, but had been experiencing depression and anxiety on and off since I was 16 and started school.

I have learned, through a lot of introspection and trial and error, was that lots of my issues were due to the uncertainty of it all. I was working so that I could get a 90 average to get into a program that very few people actually get accepted into, even people who have my grades. There was a lot of uncertainty, and I felt like I was in a hamster wheel–get good grades so that I can do… what? There’s no certainty. I didn’t feel like I was going anywhere, and I wasn’t actually doing anything.

I have felt for the last few years like I’m a hamster in a wheel.

I went into psychology so that I could actually make a difference. So that I could help kids have happier families, help them thrive and go from “high-risk” groups to “low-risk.” But my undergrad degree, honestly, really frustrated me. I didn’t feel myself getting there. I was studying all these courses that I would never use because I just needed the credits. On top of it all, I lost focus as to why I was actually in school doing what I was doing.

So where am I at now?

I haven’t given up on grad school! I’m actually still dedicated to pursuing higher education. But what I have learned is that life is so much bigger than school. If I continue to do my Ph.D., it’s going to be because it is what I truly want to do. Not something that I feel like I should do because I can.

Until then, I’m going to be applying for grad school, but I’m also going to be working on making a difference now instead of waiting until I can make a difference. Because if we never start taking action, it’s so easy to get stuck in a rut.

This summer has been one of the happiest of my life. Even happier than the summer I got married. And a lot of that is that (a) I don’t have to deal with wedding planning (can I get an “amen?”) but also (b) I have a renewed sense of purpose. I am so excited about growing this blog and to be able to provide you with better quality content than I’ve ever given before. I’m so excited to help you reach your goals through this blog, and to see how we both grow on this journey together :)

This is a big deal for me, guys!

I’ve been blogging for a long time (since I was 10 years old) but I’m starting to actually do this as my job, now, which means that I’m able to produce more content that isn’t sponsored content. My dream is to be able to blog as a full-time job, creating tons of e-books and e-courses for you to help you succeed in life, whether that’s through succeeding in your relationships, thriving spiritually, or growing personally.

The only way I can do that is by going outside of the blogging world, for my purposes. To be honest, I want to reach a larger audience than I can through blogging, and I want to be able to actually connect to people on a more personal level. I find that videos help with that. So even though the majority of my content will still be here, on the blog, you’ll also be seeing me a lot more on YouTube.

So, here’s my first video! Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any :)

Thank you for your encouragement and support over the last year and a half. It has been wonderful, and I’m so excited to be able to give you even more of my time and create more content on multiple platforms.

When You Feel Alone at Church

A while back I wrote a post about what it’s like to be a Christian, ENTJ female and it got a lot of conversation going on the topic. One of the most common comments that I got from other ENTJs in particular was “church doesn’t help me. It does nothing, and I don’t feel accepted or like I’m growing. So I stopped going to church.” And it broke my heart.

I’ve written extensively in the past about why you need to go to church as a student, why students leave the church, and about how the church can help with various issues we face. But those don’t really address the issue of what to do when your church doesn’t help you.

So I’ve decided to start to tackle this problem in a few blog posts. Like I said in my last post in this series, we go to church because God commands us to as well as for three reasons that benefit us directly. Obviously individuals will have extra reasons apart from these, but I think these are pretty global so these are the ones I’m going to mainly address. They are (1) to receive good teaching that helps us grow, which we talked about last time, (2) to become part of a community, and (3) to feel like we’re actually making some sort of a difference. Often when we get disillusioned about church it’s about one of these three things. The preaching isn’t great, I feel isolated, or I feel like I’m not able to do anything with my faith at the church that I’m at. At least, those were the comments that I got on my post.

Let me start by saying I have very much been there. I’m a very opinionated and outgoing woman in a church. Of course I came up against issues. So today I want to deal with the second problem: feeling lonely in your own church.  [Read more…]

7 Things I Wish I Knew in Sophomore Year

Looking for tips for sophomores to help you maximize this year? Look no further!

I just graduated this year! So as a bit of a project to bring some closure to such a huge part of my life, I decided to do a post a week with tips for each year in college. Sophomore year was an amazing year for me and there were so many things I did right, but I really wish I had these tips for sophomores back then–I definitely would have done some things differently!

So I hope you enjoy these tips I put together and that they help you make the most of this year!

[Read more…]

3 Things People do Wrong in Relationships Before they Start–A Rant

 For some reason, I always find myself being asked for advice on how to get a date. Probably because I’m a psychology student, I’m analytical (hello being an ENTJ female), and I got married pretty young.

I love helping my friends out, but I find that they tell me the same problems again and again. And I think that part of the problem is that no one actually knows how to date. Which is a problem, because relationships are a huge part of our lives. For many of us, marriage is one of the most important things we’d like to do with our lives. So it really affects me when I see people who so desperately want to find love going about it in the wrong ways.

So, from my vast experience dealing with other people’s relationship problems as well as my own dating experience, I though I’d give you the 3 things we do wrong in relationships that make them way more complicated than they need to be, and how to fix it! Enjoy. (And just remember, I say all this in love and from experience.)

[Read more…]